Helping Yourself or a Friend Through Divorce, Separation, and Suicidal Thoughts

Divorce and separation can be overwhelming, and these difficult times may lead to feelings of despair, isolation, or even suicidal thoughts. Whether you're seeking help for yourself or supporting a friend, this guide provides vital information on the resources available locally in the East of England and nationally. If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, please contact emergency services by calling 999 or going to your nearest A&E department.

Recognizing the Signs of Suicidal Thoughts

Before seeking help, it is important to recognize the signs that someone might be struggling with suicidal thoughts. Common signs include:

• Withdrawal from friends, family, or social activities
• Expressing feelings of hopelessness, guilt, or shame
• Talking about death or making statements like, "People would be better off without me"
• Engaging in reckless or self-destructive behavior (e.g., substance abuse, reckless driving)
• Changes in sleeping or eating patterns
• Giving away personal possessions

If you notice these behaviors, it’s important to take them seriously and seek help immediately.

Local Support in the East of England

CPSL Mind (Cambridgeshire, Peterborough, and South Lincolnshire)

• Website: www.cpslmind.org.uk
• Services: CPSL Mind offers a variety of mental health support services, including peer support groups, well-being workshops, and one-on-one mental health assistance. They also provide suicide prevention training and have specific resources for those experiencing relationship breakdowns.

Norfolk and Waveney Mind

• Website: www.norfolkandwaveneymind.org.uk
• Services: Provides mental health support across Norfolk and Waveney. They offer counselling services, crisis support, and well-being groups. They also run specific programs on suicide prevention and support for people in crisis, as well as their families.

Suffolk Mind

• Website: www.suffolkmind.org.uk
• Services: Suffolk Mind provides a wide range of services, from community well-being programs to emotional support for those dealing with stress, anxiety, or mental health crises. They offer face-to-face counselling, as well as group-based interventions to support those affected by divorce or separation.

Mind in West Essex

• Website: www.mindinwestessex.org.uk
• Services: Offers tailored mental health services for individuals in West Essex. These include crisis support, group therapy, well-being coaching, and one-on-one mental health support. They also have specific resources for men dealing with emotional issues related to family breakdowns.

Mid and North East Essex Mind

• Website: www.mnessexmind.org
• Services: Serving Colchester, Tendring, and other parts of Essex, this Mind branch provides mental health services including support for those dealing with the emotional aftermath of relationship breakdowns. They offer counselling services, crisis intervention, and workshops on managing emotional well-being.

Suffolk Wellbeing Service

• Website: www.wellbeingnands.co.uk
• Services: This service covers both Suffolk and Norfolk, offering support for mental health concerns such as anxiety, depression, and stress. They provide both one-on-one support and group sessions, and have resources for individuals affected by divorce, separation, or other major life changes.

Norfolk and Suffolk NHS Foundation Trust

• Website: www.nsft.nhs.uk
• Services: Offers specialist mental health services, including emergency support for those in crisis. They have a variety of resources for people going through divorce or separation, and provide therapy, crisis support, and psychiatric assistance for individuals experiencing suicidal thoughts.

Essex Partnership University NHS Foundation Trust (EPUT)

• Website: www.eput.nhs.uk
• Services: EPUT delivers a range of mental health services throughout Essex, including crisis intervention and counselling. They also provide urgent support for individuals in mental health crises, including those struggling with the emotional strain of relationship breakdowns.

First Response Service (Cambridgeshire, Peterborough, Norfolk, Suffolk, and Essex)

• Phone: NHS 111 (select the mental health option)
• Services: Immediate support for people in mental health crises. This service connects individuals with the right mental health professionals and resources to ensure their safety and well-being across Norfolk, Suffolk, Essex, and the wider East of England region.

National Support

Samaritans

• Phone: 116 123 (24/7, free)
• Email: jo@samaritans.org
• Services: Samaritans provide free, confidential emotional support for people experiencing suicidal thoughts or emotional distress. Available 24/7, 365 days a year.

CALM (Campaign Against Living Miserably)

• Phone: 0800 58 58 58 (5 pm - Midnight, 7 days a week)
• Webchat: thecalmzone.net
• Services: CALM offers mental health and suicide prevention support specifically tailored for men. Their services include a free helpline, webchat, and resources on handling relationship breakdowns.

Papyrus HOPELINEUK (For young people)

• Phone: 0800 068 4141 (9 am – Midnight, 365 days a year)
• Text: 07860 039967
• Email: pat@papyrus-uk.org
• Services: Papyrus provides support to young people under 35 who are struggling with thoughts of suicide, as well as offering advice to anyone concerned about a young person.

Relate

• Website: www.relate.org.uk
• Services: Relate offers counseling and advice services for individuals and couples experiencing relationship difficulties. They provide both face-to-face and online support for managing the emotional toll of separation.

Family Lives

• Phone: 0808 800 2222
• Website: www.familylives.org.uk
• Services: Family Lives offers a free and confidential helpline for parents and families dealing with relationship breakdowns, parenting challenges, and emotional struggles.

Stayingsafe.net

• Website: www.stayingsafe.net
• Services: Provides guidance and resources for creating a personalized safety plan to manage suicidal thoughts. This service helps people stay safe in times of crisis by connecting them with life-saving support.

How to Help a Friend Who May Be Suicidal

If you're worried about a friend going through a separation or divorce, you can offer critical support. Here are some steps you can take:

1. Start the Conversation: Don’t wait for them to bring up the topic of suicide. If you notice warning signs, ask directly, “Are you feeling suicidal?” or “Are you thinking about taking your life?” It may feel difficult, but asking these questions shows you care.
2. Listen Without Judgment: Allow your friend to talk about their feelings openly. Avoid offering advice immediately or making assumptions. Instead, listen and acknowledge their emotions.
3. Encourage Professional Help: Gently guide your friend toward professional support. Suggest speaking to their GP, contacting a helpline like Samaritans, or looking into counseling services like Relate.
4. Help Them Create a Safety Plan: Use resources like Stayingsafe.net to help your friend create a safety plan, which can include removing means of self-harm, establishing support networks, and identifying coping strategies.
5. Be There: Simply being present can make a big difference. Check in on your friend regularly, and remind them that they are not alone.

Creating a Personal Safety Plan

If you're experiencing suicidal thoughts, creating a safety plan is one of the most effective steps you can take. A safety plan involves:

• Identifying Warning Signs: Recognize the thoughts, emotions, or behaviors that signal when you're feeling overwhelmed.
• Establishing Coping Strategies: Write down activities that can help distract or comfort you when you're feeling low (e.g., walking, listening to music, talking to a friend).
• Contacting Support Networks: Make a list of friends, family, or professionals you can call when you're feeling suicidal.
• Limiting Access to Means of Harm: Remove any objects that could be used for self-harm or ask a trusted person to keep them for you temporarily.

For a more detailed guide, visit Stayingsafe.net to build your safety plan with professional help.

In Case of Immediate Crisis

If you or someone you know is in immediate danger of suicide, it’s essential to act quickly:

• Call 999 or go to A&E
• Contact Samaritans (116 123) or CALM (0800 58 58 58)
• Call NHS 111 and select the mental health option

Always remember that you are not alone, and help is available.